Click here and die happy.

The duel was done last Thursday. Sorry for the delay. The Holidays, two cats, 5 million pots of tea, excellent television programming (Anthony LaPaglia, I LOVE YOU!), long-winded phone calls from family members, and the opportunity to meet new friends all stood between me and the keyboard. But, I return…

Colbert’s final episode of 2006 did not report upon the news. IT WAS THE NEWS! My brother and I sat on the green couch and laughed until our stomachs hurt.

Here’s how Rock and Awe: Countdown to Guitarmageddon went down…Chris funk ala The Decemberists won the coin toss, but Mr. Colbert is the king of the world, naturally, so he made Chris go first anyway. Yeah, I guess Chris is pretty good, considering his last name is Funk. Then, the horn of misfortune gored Mr. Colbert just seconds before he was to begin SHREDDING upon his quadratar (five guitars in one…quadra + guitar). Those were not fake blood packets, man, that was the real deal. Colbert was down for the count, and it looked like the Funkmeister would steal the crown and leave sweet Steven lying limp in a pool of his own blood.

But then, a Holiday mircale occurred. Peter Frampton just happened to be in the studio and shredded in the stead of Colbert. Peter, that was so nice of you.

So, team Frampton / Colbert reign supreme as the Socrates’ of Shred. Sorry Decemberists. Maybe you should practice more.

Photo courtesy of bigdspbandj, Flickr